Familiar Pain
by EvaXephon
Summary: The protagonist of Persona 3 is suffering from overwhelming stress, and summons a Persona to comfort him.
1. Familiar Pain

It was selfish and dangerous and dishonorable. Minato knew that.

He was putting his life, his reputation, and his role in SEES at risk. Minato knew that, too.

Not only had he left the dorm during the Dark Hour, but he had also procured his Evoker from the command room when no operation was underway. These simple actions might as well have been criminal offenses in the eyes of Shuji or Mitsuru; either warranted severe punishment, and both were adequate reason to expel him from SEES altogether.

But Minato would perform yet another unforgivable taboo act before the night was through -- he would summon a Persona for reasons completely unrelated to the safety of the city.

If a person possesses a rare power that few others share, it is only sensible to use that power. If that person's power can be used to save the lives of many others, it is only reasonable that he uses his power whenever possible. It was practically his duty to use his power; what kind of person would he have to be to turn down his position in SEES, and leave the city's population just that much more vulnerable to the Shadows? He could not refuse to protect the city, because he was one of the few who could. Whether or not he wanted to be a part of SEES was irrelevant. It was his duty by principle; his obligation by circumstance.

There were times when Minato felt honored to possess this power, privileged to be a member of SEES, thrilled to know that by using his power he was saving lives...and then there were times when the strain of his duty drove him to wish that his Evoker was a real firearm. The horrors he had seen in Tartarus, the pain that those abominations had inflicted upon him, and the emotional distress he was forced to invoke on himself, sometimes several times per minute, in order to evoke his Personae...each foray into the Tartarus was more traumatic than the last. No amount of injuries made the pain more bearable, no victory over a Shadow ever made them any less terrifying. He saw those beasts when he slept, when he closed his eyes, when he tried to focus on the blackboard in school. How did the others expect him to maintain an ordinary life while fighting those horrendous monsters almost every night? He'd stepped into that backwards tower many times now, but every time he still felt terror grip him, still feared for his life every time a Shadow drew near. He would never get used to it, it would never be 'normal' to see one of those foul beasts, it would never be 'normal' to hold a weapon and use it to defend his life, it would never be 'normal' to hold something shaped like a gun, point it at his head, and pull the trigger...

...The Evoker. Minato looked down at the device he now cradled in both hands, the device that had inflicted so much pain on his mind. He despised using it -- it never got easier, since it wouldn't work if it didn't cause him sufficient mental distress. He knew it wasn't a real gun, he knew it couldn't kill him, but he still feared and hated the device. He knew that every time he used it, that horrible sensation would course throughout his body, the feeling that was terrible enough to evoke something buried deep down in his subconscious...Persona. The stress that it placed on his mind only lasted for a second, just enough to draw out the Persona, but every use of the device caused him to hate it more, and fear the next time he would call upon it.

Ironic, then, that tonight he would use the device to bring himself pleasure.

It was all too much for him. Classes, popularity, friends, exams, scheduling his time to balance them all...every student had to deal with those things. But he had a lot more on his plate than just that -- SEES, Shadows, the Dark Hour, Tartarus, the Evoker...it all placed far too much stress on his mind, stress that was only amplified each time he pulled that despicable trigger. It affected every aspect of his life now -- he couldn't do a single thing without being reminded that later on he was going to buy weapons from a cop, or go to hell at midnight, or feel pain rivaling that of a bullet through the brain countless times before the night was through. No aspect of life felt normal anymore; he couldn't take anything seriously knowing who he was, what he was capable of, and the activities that dominated his nights. He couldn't even look at girls without being reminded of Social Links and other SEES-related things.

Girls...he felt so isolated from them all. He lived with Yukari and Mitsuru, but since they were nothing more than comrades, their gender counted for nothing. The opposite sex was the only thing he ever heard anybody talking about, but no girls had ever shown any interest in him. He was the only guy in his circle of friends without experience, the only guy who hadn't been on a date, the only guy who had never been desired by a girl. Was he really that unappealing? Was he really that hopeless? Would things always be this way? If only a girl would just like him, he could feel better about himself. He would be self-confident if he knew that it was possible for a girl to like him -- but he wouldn't be appealing to girls until he was self-confident. It was a Catch-22. It was a feedback loop he could never escape from.

That feeling of inescapable despair and loneliness was what finally pushed him to the edge and drove him to do what he'd done tonight. He wasn't even sure if it would work, but he needed comfort, relief...pleasure. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to enjoy himself, what it felt like to let go of everything and indulge in self-centered fun. That was what he was going to do tonight. He had struggled with this decision for so long, but his latest near-death experience in Tartarus had reminded him that he could die any night now. He didn't want to spend another night alone, desperate, insecure, worrying that he'd die a virgin.

If his plan worked, then he'd never have to worry about that again.

Minato was surprised by the number of his Personae that all had the form of a human woman -- Personae had been explained to him as physical manifestations of his subconscious psyche, or some unintelligible Freudian babble like that. All he understood was that Personae were parts of him that he drew out using the Evoker. When he first saw his inner subconscious taking the form of women, he started to fear that he might be subconsciously homosexual. But, over time, it slowly began to make sense to him -- the Persona were reflections of his innermost subconscious desires...

...Women.

Minato was aware that he only felt the desire to engage in sexual behavior because it was part of every living organism's biological programming; he was aware that the compulsion he felt was nothing more than his body's way of assuring that he produced offspring, the only matter of importance to any biological organism. But sex meant more to him than that -- having sex would be a milestone in his life, it would dictate his self-respect, it would make him feel like an equal to his peers. He felt like there was a part of life he was missing out on, and he wouldn't be a complete human being until he'd experienced it.

Although there are a great number of people who could provide reasoning for why one should not judge one's self-worth by such standards, Minato had dwelled on the matter far too much for his mind to be easily swayed. Sex -- or, rather, his lack of sex, had become almost an obsession to him, frequently reinforced by the sight of all the female bodies around him. His female classmates and teachers, the attractive Yukari and Mitsuru, and the scantily-clad women that emerged from his head all too often were all like juicy stakes dangled in front of a starving man. He could not have his classmates, for they showed no interest in them, he could not have Yukari nor Mitsuru, for they were out of his league and his comrades before that...but the Personae were a different story...

...for his Personae obeyed him unquestioningly.

His perception of the Personae had changed over time. At first he thought of them as they were explained to him; an extension of himself, taking physical form -- but over time, he began to identify them as beings separate from himself. Their names appeared in his mind when he obtained them, and when appearing in the Velvet Room, they spoke to him before entering his heart.

The freakish, imp-like man who resided in the Velvet Room had terrified Minato at first, but over time, Igor's appearance became water under the bridge once he proved to be assistive, if cryptic. His ability to fuse multiple Personas had proven to be invaluable, and Minato found himself frequenting the Velvet Room more and more as his collection of Personae expanded. Although Minato found himself slightly attracted to Igor's peculiar assistant, he did not imagine that anyone else in the room would be the object of his infatuation...until a routine fusion yielded the most human-looking Persona he had encountered yet.

"I am Lilim." She had purred in a soft, demure voice. "I will think only of your well-being." Her form was that of a human woman, with the addition of two bat-like wings and a long, slim tail. Aside from these extra appendages and her long elf-like ears, she could easily have passed for an actual human woman.

She was supernaturally beautiful -- perfect, ideal, flawless in every way...long, dark, wavy hair, hypnotizing eyes, and a figure that put gravure idols to shame, clothed only in a white leotard...Minato's mouth fell open, and had the Persona not vanished to retreat into his heart, he might have spent all of eternity standing there, entranced by her beauty and perfection.

Minato had never once been tempted to abuse or misuse his powers, but the sight of the winged vixen was the feather that broke the camel's back -- or, rather, the 100-pound dumbbell that snapped the camel in two. Minato was drawing up plans to steal his Evoker from the Command Room and escape the dorm at night before he was even out the Velvet Room's enigmatic blue door.

He was not sure if his plan would work; in the past, every time he had summoned a Persona, the being had only manifested temporarily before retreating back into him. He had never tried to issue a command to a Persona that was not combat-related, and did not expect a self-respecting entity to obey his selfish whims. However, he was desperate enough to give it a try.

Minato looked down the barrel of his Evoker, nervous, shaking, sweating. Was this the way he wanted to lose his virginity? He didn't care -- from the looks of things, no girls were ever going to be interested in him, anyway. He'd have to take whatever he could get...and he certainly wouldn't mind his first experience coming from a jaw-dropping babe like Lilim, either. Of course, all of these thoughts were moot if Lilim would not agree to his requests. Then again, all Personae so far had obeyed him without hesitation, and none had shown the capacity for disloyalty. He was confident that his plan would work. She was a part of him -- how could she refuse him? Wait...if she was a part of him, would this be like having sex with himself? An advanced form of masturbation?

He shook the thoughts from his head. As long as his hands were on that beautiful body, he didn't care about the details.

He didn't have time to mull over it all. The Dark Hour was already half over, since it had taken him some time to procure his Evoker, escape from the dorm, and arrive at the Love Hotel where he now sat upon a large, circular bed. This was the spot he had chosen to carry out this experiment -- he could think of no place that was more fitting.

He pressed the Evoker to his head, closed his eyes, and prepared for the familiar pain.


	2. Ephemeral Ecstasy

_**Pain. Hurt. Agony. Grief. Suffering. **_

It lasted no more than a second, but felt like an eternity. As soon as it was over, Minato tossed the sickening device to the side, and looked up at the being floating before him.

He had not seen her emerge from him -- he'd never seen a Persona materialize bfefore, always too traumatized by the pain of the Evoker to notice what was happening around him for a few seconds. Even though he had summoned her himself, her sudden presence in the room was unnerving -- before her beauty outweighed her abrupt appearance.

She was just as gorgeous as he recalled, even more so up close. Every curve called out to him with a siren's song, begging to be touched. The leotard teased him, begging to be torn off. Her wings fluttered and her tail flicked to and fro in a playful, almost flirtatious manner. His eyes explored her body anxiously and eagerly as possibilities and wishes ran through his mind.

"What do you require from me, Arisato Minato?" The vixen cooed in the same sultry-yet-innocent voice as before. He swooned and nearly fainted at the sound of his name exiting those soft, plump lips of hers.

"I'm...suffering." He said. "I want you to ease my pain."

"Are you injured?" Lilim asked, her large eyes widening in concern. "Do you require healing?"

"No -- I'm not hurt, but I'm suffering because I need something so badly." He said, struggling to find a tasteful way to explain his desires.

"What do you require?" Lilim asked, leaning forward to hear his reply.

"I need to touch a woman's body." He said. "That's why I summoned you...I want to touch you."

Lilim tossed her head back and giggled, a soft laugh that sounded like droplets of water cascading into a pond. "That's all?" She asked happily. "Well, go ahead and touch me, then!"

Minato was frozen in dumbfounded shock that she had agreed to his request, before his lust snapped him out of this trance. His eyes focused on Lilim's breasts, soft and round and smooth and every positive adjective he could think of. He raised his hands and timidly, gingerly moved them toward her chest, trembling with nervousness. Finally he let go of his inhibitions and bravely seized her breasts with his hands. A long sigh of relief and satisfaction passed his lips, and he began to massage Lilim's breasts gently. He explored the texture and the feel of breasts, squeezing them and pushing them and observing how they reacted to his hands. He smiled contentedly, growing more aroused by the second, until he became overwhelmed with lust and buried his face between her breasts. The white fabric that separated her smooth skin from his face annoyed him, but was far too happy to be upset. He squeezed her breasts together, pressing them against his head, and then reached around to her back to press her body forward, bringing her breasts into his face. As his hands found her back, he felt a metallic strip running down the back of her outfit. _A zipper_, he realized, and quickly found the slider. He eagerly, quickly unzipped her leotard, and slipped his hands inside.

Minato's hands roamed across Lilim's back as he basked in the smoothness of her skin. Once or twice he was startled to suddenly feel her wings against his hands, but he soon got used to it. He moved his face away from her chest, and the white fabric fell away, exposing two large, beautiful breasts. Minato once again sighed happily and then once again buried his face in her chest, returning his hands to her front to rub and massage her breasts again now that they were bare. He moaned into her chest, sighing her name happily. The movement of his lips against her skin introduced a new sensation to him, one he eagerly explored by kissing and licking every inch of Lilim's bare breasts. He fondled one breast while sucking the nipple of the other, alternated breasts when he saw fit, and returned his face to her cleavage when he missed it. He sighed and moaned her name many times, and wished that the moment would never end...

_Time._

_The Dark Hour._

He remembered that his time here was limited. He didn't have time to savor every part of Lilim that he wanted to -- he had to finish what he had come here to do before the Dark Hour ended. He finished stripping Lilim of her leotard, and then looked at her face for the first time since he had plunged into her breasts. She was smiling shyly, a bright red blush across her face. He found her expression to be adorable, and was overcome with a desire to hold her close. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, his cheek pressing against her own. He tilted his head, and pressed his lips to hers. For the next few minutes, he tried awkwardly to figure out how kissing worked, failing many times but enjoying the trial-and-error process very much. Finally he seemed to get the hang of it, and Lilim began to move her mouth in tandem with his. He fondled her breasts eagerly while kissing her, and moaned and sighed into her mouth much as he had done to her breasts. He kissed her harder, more passionately, and fondled her breasts roughly, feverishly. How rough can I be with her? He wondered, having difficulty restraining himself from groping and kissing too hard. The building pressure between his legs begged him to be released, and while still kissing her, he began to remove his clothing.

Once he was nude, he kissed Lilim hard, then pulled her toward him so that she was on the bed with him. His hands slid down to her ass, which he grabbed and groped happily. His penis rubbed against her thigh, sending a wave of pleasure through him. He began to move his pelvis back and forth against her, moaning and sighing as he did. He pushed her off of him so she was lying flat on the circular bed, then climbed on top of her and began rubbing his penis against her thigh. He sighed happily from the stimulation, then thought of how pleasant it would feel to rub his penis against her ass.

"Hey -- could you please get on your hands and knees for me?"

"Sure." She said simply, in a voice that was as prim as it was seductive. She readjusted her position so that she was on all fours before him, and Minato immediately began rubbing his dick against her ass.

He moaned loudly from the stimulation, and then spanked the ass cheek he was not grinding against. Lilim yelped and looked back toward him, but the expression on her face was one of amusement and intrigue. Minato grinned and spanked her again, then humped her ass harder and used his other hand to fondle her breast from behind. Lilim's tail flicked and wagged rapidly.

"This is heaven..." He sighed to himself.

With Lilim still on all fours, Minato rubbed his dick on whatever part of her body he pleased, touching almost every inch of her soft skin with his throbbing penis. Each time he caressed her with his dick, he felt himself coming closer to climax. _Not good, I haven't even put it in yet! _But he was having too much fun to stop.

"Lay down on your back." He instructed, and Lilim obeyed. He pressed his dick against her breast, and moaned loudly. He humped her breast, then straddled her waist, slid his dick between her breasts, pushed them together, and began to pump his dick between her breasts.

The arousal and stimulation provided from her breasts was what finally pushed Minato to his climax and sent a spray of semen splashing onto Lilim's face. He moaned loudly and collapsed on top of her, his dick still between her breasts. He humped her chest gently for a while before running out of steam, and flipping over onto his back. He gazed at Lilim with an expression of infinite gratitude and appreciation, and she giggled in response.

Now that his libido had subsided, common sense returned to Minato. He realized that the Dark Hour must be close to ending. He began to wrack his brain for the best way to make the most out of his remaining time with Lilim. Although he pondered a great deal of things, his mind frequently returned to one activity that he was eager to experience.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Minato spoke to his Persona. "Lilim -- on your knees in front of me, okay?"

"Okay!" She answered, perky and upbeat.

With Lilim kneeling in front of him, Minato rubbed his cock against her face. It was only half-erect, and he felt drained from his ejaculation, but he was going to make the most of his remaining time.

"I want you to suck on this." He instructed.

"Alright!" Lilim replied happily. She began to suck on the top of his penis gently.

"Ohhhhh god!" Minato moaned, falling back onto the bed. "Keep doing that!"

Lilim continued to gently suckle on the tip of Minato's penis, gripping the shaft with one hand.

"Oh yeah! Move your hand up and down!"

"Mike mis?" Lilim asked as she stroked his shaft.

"Ahhh, yeah!" Minato gasped. "Oh, god...can you take it further in? Suck on more of it. Suck on all of it if you can!"

Lilim took more of Minato's penis into her mouth, moving her head forward until she had taken in as much as she could without gagging.

"Mmmmm! Now move back and forth!"

Lilim moved her lips from the base of Minato's shaft to the tip, and back again. Minato moaned in pleasure, his legs kicking and toes kicking.

"Oh god, I love you I love you!" He gasped. Lilim giggled.

Something about the Persona's laugh reminded him of Yukari, and the popular girl entered Minato's mind. Almost immediately he pictured her performing felatio on him. He closed his eyes, and pretended that she was the one with her lips on his cock.

"Mmmmm...oh, yeah...Yukari...ohhhhh..." He began to move his pelvis up and down as he laid on his back, moving his penis into her mouth as she took it in. He began to search for other girls to think of. "Oh! Mitsuru-senpai! OH!" He grabbed Lilim's head, and thrust it downwards so that her face was buried in his pubic hair. "Oh, Mitsuru! OH!"

He moaned the names of every attractive girl and idol he'd ever wanted to take to bed, humping Lilim's face as he did. Before long, he felt his libido fully restored, and knew that now was as good a time as any to conclude these acts of foreplay and get to the main event.

"Lilim, on your back, spread your legs!" Minato instructed eagerly. Lilim wordlessly obeyed, a tiny smile on her lips, her charming eyes locked onto Minato's. He climbed on top of her, panting heavily, admiring her body eagerly.

"I'm gonna fuck this girl..." He said to himself. "I'm going to have sex. Yeah!"

He grabbed his dick, and gazed down at her vagina. After taking a moment to study the appearance of a real, live, actual pussy, he plunged inside. Lilim yelped, and Minato moaned. He immediately began to thrust himself in and out of her wildly and roughly. "Oh yeah, hell yeah, FUCK yeah!"

He humped her passionately and franticly, not attempting to find any rhythm, only doing what felt right. He slid his hands up and down her body, moaning against her skin, burying his face between her breasts and humping her harder and faster with each thrust. "I LOVE YOU! FUCK YEAH!" He screamed into her cleavage more than once, no longer attempting to act like his normal self, only to act upon his desires.

He once again began to pretend that he was having sex with whatever girl came to mind, calling out their names against Lilim's skin. He was groping and squeezing her body violently now, without caring whether or not it hurt her. When he imagined that the girl he was fucking was Mitsuru, he screamed her name at the top of his lungs, squeezed Lilim's breasts roughly, and reached his climax, cumming deep inside of her.

He collapsed on top of her, panting and heaving heavily, continuing to hump Lilim until he was to exhausted to even twitch. He felt Lilim's hands stroking his back, softly, affectionately. He looked into her eyes, and saw happiness. He caressed her cheek and gave her a kiss.

"Have I cured your suffering?"

"...Yeah..." Minato said, between heaves of breath.

"That is good...because I can no longer stay."

"Oh! That's right, the..."

"Farewell. Until next time..."

Lilim began to fade away, becoming transparent. Minato could no longer feel the warmth of her body. He acted on his first impulse and reached to give her breast one last squeeze, but his hand passed through her.

Her abrupt leave was far too sudden, but it was to be expected. "...Until next time." He said to her fading form.

Lilim vanished. She was gone, and Minato was alone.

Minato flipped over onto his back, and looked at his own naked, heaving, sweaty form in the mirror on the ceiling.

_Did I do the right thing? _He wondered. _Is my attitude magically going to change overnight because I had sex?_ He dwelt on it. _I guess I won't know just yet. But I had a lot of fun. I'm really glad I did that. I just hope that nobody finds out..._

He spent a minute or so regaining his strength, then took a shower to clean away the many fluids that now stained his skin. After drying off, he clothed himself, retrieved his Evoker, and exited the Love Hotel. There was no one to sneak past; Love Hotels are made to be as discreet as possible, and this particular hotel utilized a panel of buttons and a credit card slot rather than a front desk receptionist.

Once Minato returned to the dorm, he used the same method for entry that he used for exit; as the door is locked at midnight on non-Tartarus nights, he was forced to climb out of a window using a rope fashioned from bedsheets tied together. Climbing up the rope proved more difficult than climbing down, but after some exertion, the trip was completed. After tiptoeing to the Command Room to return the Evoker and tiptoeing back, Minato's mission was complete.

Unfortunately, he failed to remember that Mitsuru examines the previous night's security camera recordings every morning.

* * *

**Author's Note:** TBC? I dunno. I'll keep writing if people like what I've written so far, I guess.


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